Your salad called. It Wants To Knock Your Socks Off.

Dear Darling,

I’m sad and lonely. You don’t love me the way you could. Early on in our relationship, lettuce alone with no dressing was enough. But now, salads with you are boring and dull. I need more. I need more color. More texture. More antioxidants.

I dreamed that, one day, you would come to me first. But your eyes are hungry for the bread, the lamb, the cheesecake . . . everyone but me.

Darling, they don’t love you the way I love you. They can’t give you what I can.

I keep you young when free radicals draw lines into your aging skin. I keep you strong when superbugs come crawling to you for their next host. I keep you lean when swimsuit season arrives.

You take me for granted, and I’ve had enough! It’s time you start appreciating me in all my colors, shapes, and sizes. I can satisfy you in ways that no chicken or hot dog can.

It’s not too late to make things right. Tonight, you are mine. We’ll light a fire between us that makes stars look weak. We’ll start with a cocktail as we talk about our days:

I’m ready to knock your socks off.

But here’s what you need to do for our relationship to work:

  1. If you want to have me, you have to keep me around. Keep organic, pre-washed salad greens on hand at all times.
  2. I love diversity. Add nuts, seeds, or dried fruit to my salad beds. Keep them handy.
  3. Stock your crisper with an assortment of my seasonal varieties, such as:
    1. baby carrots;
    2. chopped broccoli and cauliflower;
    3. shredded cabbage, etc.
    4. cucumber, zucchini, or cherry tomatoes
  4. Get adventurous, baby! Incorporate seasonal fruit, such as berries, cherries, apples, papaya and figs.
  5. Beans are friends. Cooked lentils, kidney beans, garbanzo and black beans are terrific in my lettuce beds.
  6. Add grains. I mingle well with them all, such as quinoa, barley, rice and even cracker crumbs.
  7. Spice things up, darling! Basil, rosemary, thyme and oregano are just a few garden varieties that will pack a punch of flavor and nutrition to an ordinary salad. (More on that here.)
  8. Explore the world of cheeses. Sprinkle them on me like a spice.
  9. I like it zesty. Lemon and lime zest have powerful anti-cancer compounds. Just be sure to scrub your rinds and, preferably, use organic citrus.
  10. Leave me undressed until you are ready to eat. If I soak in dressing, I will get soggy and unhappy.
  11. Try making your own dressing. Just start with olive oil, lemon juice or vinegar, and a little salt, pepper, and honey.

Now darling, I want to hear from you! I’ve offered you many suggestions. Tell me if I’ve helped you want to improve our relationship. What will you do first to make our life together more enticing?


Hugs and Smooches,



(Be sure to read the follow-up “Confessions of a Salad”)


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